Monday, March 26, 2012


Today's ailment of discussion is Ineedamountaindew.

Symptoms of Ineedamountaindew include:
Diabetic emergencies, partial thirst, general thirst, extreme thirst, dehydration, stress, tiredness, social gathering, food consumption, video-gaming, film-viewing, music-listening, the hours between sleep and general boredness.
Symptoms may increase drastically if not attended to. 

Fortunately, Ineedamountaindew is relatively easy to cure, as medication is available anywhere Pepsi-brand pharmaceuticals are sold. Mountain Dew (Heaveninabeverage) comes in a variety of packages, all of which may be purchased both over-the-counter and otherwise. Mountain Dew requires no prescription, but may be prescribed by any noticing party when any symptoms are present.

Packaging variety consists of, but is not limited to:
2 liter containers, 20 ounce containers, 12 ounce canisters, and 8 ounce canisters, along with the option to purchase in bulk (20 ounce containers in packs of six and 12 ounce canisters in packs of twelve or twenty-four being the most common).

Mountain Dew is most effective taken cold, though still efficient at room temperature. Consume orally. Take as often as needed. 

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This blog is written and maintained by Michael Hansen, English Major and Medical Extraordinaire. Articles in this blog are in no way not inaccurate, thus should be taken seriously. All advice shared has been gained through experience; scientific fact is for chemistry teachers and Scientologists.

Attempt at your own risk.